I knew this would happen. Although I know I had very vivid dreams, one morning last week I woke up and couldn’t remember anything. It was all gone. This hardly ever happens to me, but of course, start a dream themed blog and then you’ll stop remembering your dreams. But I have a feeling that what I heard on the radio during my prolonged snoozing was better than what I was dreaming.
By way of background, a morning radio show in H-town that I love listening to does a segment each week called Roula & Ryan’s Roses. It is basically a way for people to find out if their significant other is cheating on them. Roula calls in pretending to be from an online flower store, and says the putative cheater has been selected to receive a free dozen long stemmed red roses that can be sent to anyone on their behalf. She has them give the name and a short greeting for a card, and more often than not, the person sends the roses to someone other than their significant other.
So I’m still pretty much asleep while the girl who called in is explaining her situation, but I catch a reference to the thriving metropolis in North Texas that is my hometown, and then hear how someone is hoking up with their cousin. Oh no. This can't be good.
Apparently this girl’s boyfriend drug her up with him to attend a family reunion in my hometown. After that, he started constantly texting and talking to his cousin that he saw at the reunion, so the girl thought something might be going on. When they ask him who he wants to send the roses to, sure enough, it is the cousin! Please, can you get any more redneck!? The guy starts rambling and babbling and, in true fashion of someone who’s just been caught cheating, starts turning it around on the girl and getting mad that she put it on the radio. But basically he admits that he is having an affair with this cousin, and insists that she is his cousin through marriage. Does that really make it better?? Maybe if there’s no blood relation, but still, who starts an affair with someone after seeing them at a family reunion? And do you know how many times the radio station here has mentioned WF, TX – never. Of course the one and only time they do would be in connection with an affair that may or may not be incestual. I’m thinking its things like this that caused me as early as the ripe old age of 8 to have the distinct feeling that I had to get out of that town.
